so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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