another moral hangover. fuck.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
this is an emotional support booty call
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
