i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
