Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Randomize
