I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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