She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
