My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
