So drunk, too bad you don't want this
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
