I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
You did what with his pubic hair?
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