Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
