I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
