I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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