his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
