You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
