Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Randomize
