I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
