Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
