we're blogging at a bar
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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