Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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