Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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