she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
