...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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