We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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