Moan for me like Helen Keller
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
