So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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