you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
