alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Less talking, more tequila
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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