I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
