I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
