Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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