I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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