Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
