I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
