hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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