dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
