He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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