I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
