drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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