My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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