He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Randomize
