Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
