I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
