Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
