we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
