Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
