"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
