they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
