its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
