do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
