i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
