were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
